QUICKIES

Featuring a series of short stories, both published and not, in the Madhouse. Stories will keep getting added here at regular intervals.

During our times, the price of Panama cigs in the canteen used to be….8 paise for 1, 15p for 2 and 20p for 3. Our friend Tongaonkar from H3 aka Tonya used to go the canteen, put 5p on the counter and tell the canteen boy. “Woh teesra panama de”. (give me the 3rd Panama). This story has a sequel. The canteen boy wised up to Tonya's antics and told him flatly that since he was buying just one, he had to pay 8p. The wiser-than-canteen-boy Tonya then bought 3 cigs for 20p and told the canteen boy that he was returning 2. Will the boy please refund 15p? It took the canteen boy, a whole semester to figure out how he was getting "panama-ed" by Tonya.

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Tonya and his friend went to Yadav dairy farm for some vadas. They told the bhayya…”do plate vada de yaar.” The bhayya told them…”Thoda wait karo. Banane ka hai.” At this Tonya exclaimed….”Banane ka nahin. Batate ka mangta hai.”

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Tonya is jogging and he accidentally bumps into a guy and falls down. The guy holds his hand out to Tonya to help him up and says, ”I’m sorry.”

Tonya takes the hand, shakes it while sprawled on the ground, and says, “hi Sorry. I’m Tongaonkar.” 

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Time: evening

Place: YP-Yadav Dairy Farm

Hero of the story: Bhaiya.

Tonya approaches Bhaiya. Bhaiya (with hope in his eyes) says "bolo saab bhel"

Tonya says "bhel" and walks away.

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And Arvind Kher aka Jack was the guy who always wore multi-colored short shorts – very pseud. So pseud that I would do a double take when he spoke Marathi.

He is also the guy who joined Nilekani at Patni Computers and they both encouraged me to join that company.

We had a tiny EP skit around Jack. People are on a flight and some says – Hi Jack! Every body ducks. And then Jack responds with “Hi Robert!”

Ghoda on Jack

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Balya once gifted me with a bowl shaped object which was crudely shaped and for a long time, I thought that it was handcrafted pottery coloured white/cream to make it look like bone. I used this as an ash tray for over a year before Balya revealed that it was indeed bone. It was a cranium of someone's skull that he picked up on one of his treks from Bangladesh. I spooked when I heard this, as did all my wing-mates who used the same ashtray. Nevertheless, I did carry it back to Hyderabad with me after graduation and committed the mistake of telling my mom what it was. Within an hour, the ashtray had disappeared. Literally, this news "blew my mind".

Bakul on Balya

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Not to forget the guy Shashank offered a lift on his bullet only to be told "Thanks, main jaldi mein hoon".

Baps on Shashank